blind people are obsessed with jesus
The last couple of days have been pretty aggravating. Yesterday was exciting version of bad because I dunno, I fucked up with going to work which I guess is exciting; not really just more exciting than going to work I guess. Anyway at real work last night this dickwad guy kept being loud and my boss told him he had to leave and he was walking with the guy to the door when this guy kickpushes my boss face first down from the top of the stairs and then kicks him in the head. Then all the boys sat on the asshole and his stupid girlfriend came out and threw a fit was all like WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?!?!?!?!?! and telling us all to shut up and I was shaking-shaking-shaking mad. My boss is okay but had to get stitches on his head and he was walking around all bleedy and I dunno it was just this huge big deal of all the staff being all mad and worked up and still this comedy show going on while 200 people are not getting drinks because we are busy telling the police what happened and listening to some crazy old broad bitch and moan because she is gross trash. The guy was not even super drunk; just a fucking rotten dude. He is a 40 something year old firefighter. I dunno, I couldn't get calm after that.
Today was boring version of crappy. I went to my new job and it is pretty boring and I made a whopping 2.75 in tips and then at the club tonight I made a whopping 7 dollars. What the hell, I worked for like 8 hours today and made less than 10 dollars in tips. It is not because I gave crappy service; I think I mighta lost some money tonight plus people just didn't buy anything and then tipped shitty. blagh.
My public service announcement for the day is don't tip shitty you cheap fucks. If you do not have money to tip stay home and be poor yourself, don't come out in public and turn other people poor too.
So I bought special halloween occasion panties and the tag on the inside is bright orange but just now in the bathroom light it looked kinda pink. The bus tickets in Ottawa are also pink and the tag is also bus ticket sized so I just went to the bathroom and I was all like SCORE! THERE ARE BUS TICKETS IN MY UNDERWEAR but then I realized my mistake. The light of the bathroom is a tricky mistress.
Another funny thing about the underwear tag is that it has "Tuesday, October 31rst" written in them, so in five years you can be like, I dunno smelling your underwear to make sure they are clean or something and see the date and be all OH MAN HALLOWEEN 2006! TALK ABOUT MEMORIES! or maybe you are supposed to retire your panties after the date, like get them framed and hang them on the wall , I dunno.
Oh I just invented something about them that would be funnier maybe. Okay F.Y.I. The panties are blue and they have this kinda shiny silver bat on the front and on the back they say "you drive me batty". My funny thing that could happen is that maybe Halloween 2006 your boyfriend gets kidknapped by wild bats and it is all horrible and sad and you keep the panties for ironies sake or something and then in whatever many years when Halloween falls on a Tuesday again you look at them and you are like crying into them by the light of the full moon because you are like OH MAN HE NEVER EVEN SAW ME IN THE PANTIES! and then the reflection of the bat on the front by the light of the moon signals your old boyfriend to come get you because he is now sorta like batman because he lives with wild bats and he takes you to his bat cave and you live happily ever after. It is a halloween panty love story.
Okay before I got sidetracked by the obviously muse-like qualities of my crappy walmart underwear I was going to tell you about this book my little brother has out from school in front of the computer. It is a book called "MANITOBA" from "the all about series". The inside cover is just praise for the book. It starts off with the caption
NEVER BEFORE HAS LEARNING ABOUT CANADA BEEN SO EXCITING......
and then features praise for the book like:
" Finally! Nonfiction material for the young learner. Somthing they can read."
-Faye Campbell, Teacher Librairian
"I can see my 5 year old son wanting to listen to and read books like these"
-Michelle Kuhlmann, Parent
I read the whole book and let me tell you, it is boring as hell not just because it is about Manitoba.
I am especially upset with Michelle's comment about picturing her five year old liking the book.
Here are some excerpts from the book:
Manitoba is the 5th smallest province in Canada.
Hudson Bay is northeast of Manitoba.
Many of Manitoba's people speak English and French.
Louis Riel lived from 1844 to 1885.
The largest hydro-electric power plant in Manitoba is on the Nelson River at Limestone Rapids.
"THANKS FOR THE AWESOME BEDTIME STORY MOM!"
-sarcastic dissapointed five year old
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