From T n A do DNA
I wonder how many of my friends read this and decide I went crazy and think I should stay away. Also people often tell me not to drink so much and basically say all my problems are drinking related and it makes me feel kind of weird because I really don't see that. I have caused probably a lot of misery for myself in the past by drinking too much but I can just never really blame it on drinking. I also like to say that I have an undiagnosed something or other and I am self medicating by drinking.
I really do think something is fucking connected wrong or broken or fucked up in my brain. Today I was supposed to work at 5:30, the same as every other Thursday but for some fucking reason I completly forgot. We had our last class which was awesome because we drank wine and watched videos of cats doing funny cat things. Afterwards I waited in the campus bar for an hour or so for Ryan to do his test because we had decided to eat out somewhere afterwards. I want to mention that I do realise that I am saying I don't have a drinking problem and then following with I drank some and then I drank some more but I do have a point eventually. I also I want to mention that I only drank two glasses of wine at the pub and I was only gonna even drink one but some guys sent me over a glass. ANYWAY, I went for dinner with Ryan and DIDN'T order a drink. The funny thing is that here I am sitting there telling Ryan how I feel SO RESPONSIBLE because I had cut myself of for feeling tipsy when I normally always have a drink when I eat out and meanwhile I am supposed to be at my job that I should fucking know I have to be at. The moral of this story is *oh my god I cut myself and was all responsible* but I'm STILL a fucking retard who can't do normal things, like remember to go to work. Anyway I fear that I am entering live journal cry me a river territory and I am cutting myself off from that too. Also I know that whole paragraph is just shit writing and I'm sorry but I'm not in the mood to correct it.
Last night actually ended up being kinda fun. Dancing around behind the bar and whatever was alright. I also got to see some interesting things like 6 girls taking off their tops and some of a catfight. One overweight drunk whore danced on the bar right in front of me and had her thong showing all the way down to her butthole practically. It was pretty funny. One more thing that I find off about my brain is that on the way to school today I was struck by this sudden paranoia that for some reason I was still wearing the mardi gras beads that were being passed around last night and that I would get to class and everyone would laugh at me.
I want to thank my parents for picking out such stellar outfits for me as a child.
Oh yeah! Last night when the girls took off their tops TWO of them had on the same bra which is also one that I own and another one had on another one that I own. So I was right about the fact that all us broads are walking around with the same undergarments. |
5 comment(s):
I think that drinking can be a problem off course.But sometimes it helps so much when you re feeling bad, down, useless or like a loser.White wine is my favourite when I feel like that.
I think that some people have a tendency to get addcited faster and more than some other people.I think it is my case.I think as long that you re conscious of it, it can not totally be a problem, no?
By
Bleach The infamous strawberry, at
6:31 a.m.
Drinking can definitely be a problem, but it makes worse problems seem not so bad anymore. It's only the next morning when the world looks and feels like a collapsing tower of paste that other problems start to form.
Awesome photo of the hand, by the way.
By
BeckoningChasm, at
5:31 p.m.
Drinking while you're upset does help...until you start thinking about the problem(s) that made you start drinking in the first place. Alcohol is a downer (as opposed to an upper) drug. It's in its nature to make you feel more mellow and/or depressed. That being said, I'm enjoying a nice glass of wine after a shaky conversation with my ex. (hypocrit) So yeah, the temptation is quite, you know, tempting.
Also, I don't think it makes a difference if you're aware of it. Most alcoholics, whether they openly admit it or not, are aware, to some degree, that they need that drink. Overt conscious awareness is the first step to recovery, but if you're not planning on recovering any time soon: what's the advantage in acknowledging your problem?
Hmm, it appears I'm an old wind bag and am annoying myself with my preachiness. I will cease and desist.
By
Anonymous, at
10:47 p.m.
you're not an old windbag.
By
Melissa, at
11:12 p.m.
I like to see topless girls and if they got into a catfight it is very funny too.
By
Anonymous, at
3:41 p.m.
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