The Lewd Angel

Mountains are pretty big.

My mom is in town for her annual accounting nerd convention but she had the day off so today was a mother daughter bonding fun day. We went to a spa place and got massages and manicures and I got a pedicure. I will maybe take pictures later so that my pretty nailpolish can last forever. Anyway yeah we did that and then she
bought be bathing suits for Christmas. Oh yeah I am going to the Dominican Republic this Christmas because last year I told my family after spending a month in a mall that climaxed in yelling and tears that I am out
next year, yo and they decided that they were out too so now we are all going to the Dominican instead and no one gets any presents except my 9 year old brother, awesome.

He has to stay home with the cat.

ha ha. I am funny.

What else?
Oh yeah, my mom is funny cute mom-ish. Here is an amusing story she told me about my four year old sister, Tori. Tori was acting up-being bad-somethign or other and my stepdad says to her "I am gonna call Santa and tell him what you are up to if you don't stop" and then she kinda storms off to her room and is really quiet for awhile and after awhile my stepdad goes in to check on her and she is scribbling all over this paper and he asks her what she is doing and she is like "I am writing a letter to Santa" and he is all awwwwwwww, what does is say? and she is like I AM TELLING HIM NOT TO PICK UP THE PHONE!

Anyway, my mom is like maybe you could tell that in your stand up routine and then she is asking me what jokes I tell and I am all awkward and quiet because mothers just don't understand how hilarious rape can be. Ugh, sorry mom I can't tell you any jokes because I am NSFW.

The other night some pictures fell off my wall and the glass shattered into a million peices. There is glass all in my clothes and I think in my yarn too. I have some mystery cuts on my hands which I blame on the glass. Tomorrow I have to clean things all up because my boy-best friend is coming to visit yeah!

In case you didn't know I have a severe fear of being attacked. If I am out at night or even in the dark at all I am constantly thinking about it and like pre-planning plans of action. I will kinda get this idea that someone might grab onto my jacket so I will unzip it and walk around cold so I can easily get out of it, that kinda thing. When I wait for the train I stand far away from the tracks until it pulls up or I stand by a pole that I can latch onto in case someone tries to push me in front. Lately I am starting to get kind of equally everyday paranoid, like just generally paranoid of injuring myself. Whenever I walk down the stairs I picture myself slipping and all the places my head will hit concrete. I am finding that to be sort of annoying but also I am like whoa why have I not been more careful when I am walking on stairs all my life?
I hope that when I get senior I am not worse and worse and start worrying about getting possessed or something. I also already sometimes worry about floating outside of my body when I am sleeping and then dying because I am too far from my body and then being trapped as a ghost. Whatever.

Dear internet,
I am crazy.
The end.

Oh yeah. I also learnt today that Duct tape can cure planters warts and also my own personal advice is that if you have skin cancer you should put some Duct tape on it.

Melissa says:
im hungry

Ryan says:
ME TOO

Melissa says:
WE HAVE SO MUCH IN COMMON!

Ryan says:
we're probably twins

Melissa says:
hahahaha

Melissa says:
you know what i hate? when you are dressed similar to someone else and people are like hahah! you are twins

Melissa says:
how about no were not we just both have on green shirts

Ryan says:
you should just flip them the bird next time someone says that to you

Melissa says:
yeah totally. whatever this conversation is better than everything I just wrote

Ryan says:
pfft i doubt it

Ryan sends:



Melissa says:
thats gross

Ryan says:
yup

Melissa says:
and dumb

Ryan says:
oh yes

Melissa says:
KINDA LIKE YOU

Ryan says:
yup

Melissa says:
FUCKFACE

Ryan says:
uh ok

Melissa says:
okay I am excited you are coming

Ryan says:
ok you're allowed to be

Ryan sends:



Melissa says:
hahahhaha

Melissa says:
thats way funnier for some reason

Ryan says:
yup

Ryan says:
still not funny but funnier

Melissa says:
yeah

Ryan says:
and just to over-do it…

Ryan sends:



Melissa says:
okay are you making those?

Ryan says:
yes

Melissa says:
hahahhahahahahahhahaha

Melissa says:
you fucking loser

Melissa says:
okay now I have to post them

Ryan says:
and i'm the loser…?

|

Monday, November 27, 2006