pick up lines for the desperate gardener
The theme of today was me being pathetic. I first woke up around maybe 11. I'm not sure. I heard my family awake and forgot it was Sunday and decided that it must be super early before they left for work and school and went back to sleep. Then I slept some more. Then at 12:30 ish I woke up but laid in bed and thought about peeing and how it was cold and I checked my email on my cellphone. At 2 o'clock I decided to get up but then I was bored because no one was home and I had nothing to do so I called my dad and basically said where are you guys? I am pathetic and 25 and calling my dad and his wife because I want to hang out with them and he was all business like we cant wait for you to get out of bed all day. Then I checked my email on the real computer. Then I sat in the chair and ate my brothers halloween candy. I ate two reese's peanut butter cups, a crispy crunch, umm one bite of a coffee crisp which I spat out-or wait, what looks like coffee crisp but it's not? There are two that I mix up. I bit the one which is billed as "a nice light snack" and I find it gross but I get it mixed up with one that I like. Then I ate like a full meal of miniature pretend grease foods; a mini hamburger, sandwich and fries. I also thought about how I was being gross and pathetic. Then I went upstairs and layed down in my bed and checked my email some more from my cell phone and then I downloaded a Duke Ellington ringtone but my phone is like old school technology so the "Duke Ellington" part really means nothing. I just downloaded a crappy ding ding version of it Don't Mean a Thing if Ain't Got That Swing. Then I called myself a few times to be like hey I have ringtone and a phone and it works and I can call myself and I could pick up and pretend that I am two people who are friends but instead I won't because it costs too much money. Then I went downstairs and umm checked my email again I think and then I watched tv for a bit. I watched a bit of a much music show that was about Britney and Kevin. Then my family came home and cooked supper and I set the table and I got into a fight with my dad about setting the table because he is like YOU PUT THE FORKS ON THE WRONG SIDE because that is probably how he takes out his anger at me being failure-ish and living with him.The underlying theme of this story is that I lead an awesome life. I don't know if you caught onto that. When I lay in bed and check my emails from my cell phone so that I dont have to put on pants to see if anyone wants to talk to me I like to think of it as foreshadowing for the adventures that await in the rest of the day.
Anyway, I think I am gonna go paint for real this time. |
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