the boring show
Okay the vodka balloon suicide thing is pretty stupid.
I did good on my interview but I have to go through three more to get the job because it is for a fancy hotel where I would make a ton of money.
I fell asleep in the evening and woke up at 10:30 and now I am in that irritable what the fuck am I supposed to do with myself now? mood.
I watched some old Laurel and Hardy and little Rascals Clips. I like how big things in those kind of old shows are just super casual like oh and then they all fell out the window.
Also I am turning into a senior citizen because my back hurts all the time.
Oh okay I will write more cus I am bored and I decided that I am just going to write on and on here anyway and not care that its blah. I used to get emails honestly everday when I was going crazy from people who read this. It was interesting sometimes scary because of creepy guys. Some normal people emailed me tho too. A lot of ex alcoholics emailed me telling me about their alcoholism and how I should go to A.A. . Also a lot of mentally ill people.
Once I had a crush on a guy named John Holmes.
Once I lived in an old duplex. Some electricians came and worked there for a month. They opened the attic. It had been locked because it was full of old things. We found a box full of seventies pornos up there and brought them down.
John Holmes is also the name of a porn star who had ads for penis pumps in the back of someof the magazines.
One night after a party or some unsober event John came home with me and we were drunk flirting on the couch. You know when you stay up late and talk about stupid shit and lean all over eachother before you kiss. I was going thru all the pornos looking for this stupid ad for the penis pump to show him haha hilarious all drunk and tossing them around all over the floor. I never found it but we did eventually kiss.
The next morning my mom stepdad and baby sister came over. I had known they were coming to give my car a boost but forgot. The floor is a fucking sea of pornos and I reek like alcohol and I cannot find my goddam keys to my car. My stupid ass guy roomate who hates my guts cus he asked me to "shag" one day and I said no walks in and starts putting the questions to me about all the pornos while I am frantically searching for my keys so that I can get my family the hell outta there. Also, Jill comes down and he's like HEY JILL DID YOU GET LAID LAST NIGHT?
Then I found my key inside my winter hat and when my family left I yelled at the guy WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT ABOUT?!?!? and he told me that if that made me uncomfortable then obviously my family and I are strange.
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