a house built of crappy metaphors
I was at giant tiger today and I was walking up these stairs concentrating really hard on holding my skirt down cus this guy was going up behind me and could prolly see my ass. I was concentrating on it so hard I kinda trip-knocked my sandal off my foot and then sorta tripped up the stairs so that I only had one shoe on and my other shoe was still a few steps down. Then the guy picked up my shoe and kinda passed to me to put on and it was very gay cinderella like, only I wouldn't want my prince to be some dude wearing a big gold chain who was just staring at my ass in the giant tiger stairwell. After we got upstairs the guy kinda chased me down being all miss, do you know where the hangers are? and I was like sorry, I don't, maybe ask her and pointed to someone who actually worked there and he seemed kinda deflated like duh I'm not shopping for hangers I'm just trying to make conversation after our romantic moment and I paniced that he would talk to me more and kinda rushed out.
I really like giant tiger except that one time I was there and they had these really good razors on sale for really cheap and I bought them thinking I scored this wicked deal and I figured out after I shaved my legs that they were on sale cus they were defective razors cus I sliced my leg all up and finally noticed that they don't have that little moisturizing strip on them, which it turns out is actually important. That time I was not so impressed, moreso like thanks for the discount on BLOODLETTING you fucks.
I just ate a veggie burger. It looked like cat food but it tasted like heaven, or at least burgerish anyway.
p.s. I just noticed that someone finally bid on my pussy baby. awesome. Now start a bidding war. |
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