The Lewd Angel

the ultimate slow down

I got my knifty knitter today. I had just gotten home with it and then had to go to work right away. It was so hard to leave it. It felt as tho I had just gotten a brand new kitten and I was abandoning it when I really wanted to stay home and bond. Anyway I will bond with my knifter knitter tonight. I am making my 8 year old brother a hat as he requested it. My parents think pom pom's are for girls and didn't want me to make him a pom pom in case he'd get made fun of.....what's the general concensus on pom poms? I didn't think they were a gay thing but when I started to think of guys I knew with pom pom hats only gay James came up.

On the walk home I was thinking of all these brilliant things to blog about like I was walking thru a new layer of snow and making footprints and then I was like WHOA, I will do a dance in the snow and then take a picture of the footsteps and be like DO THIS if you want to jitterbug but then I remembered that I don't know any jitterbugs and that actually, that would prolly be a boring post anyway. Go Melissa.

ewwww ewwwwww Okay we have this "COCK" brand fish sauce in the fridge which I find funny and I figured oh it will be extra funny and gross if I put the end of the bottle in my mouthe and pretend like I am going down on it, only then some sauce leaked out into my mouthe and tasted gross and also my feet stink and now the taste and the smell are combining in my head and creating ultra gross cock fish sauce aftermath.

One stupid fear of mine is random paper bags that are just lying around wherever. I am always like OH MY GOD THERE IS PROBABLY A BOMB IN THERE. I saw this random paper bag today and kinda peeked into it while I walked by to check for bombs and then kept walking cus it was empty but then turned around cus I decided I should take a picture and explain my fear of paper bags. Anyway, I turn around and there is this other guy giving the paper bag the old peek in as he walked by it and so I kinda smiled at him in am effort to communicate ha ha, way for us to both need to look inside the bag but he was not at all impressed with me silently communicating this and kinda frowned at me in return.

Oh yeah, also when I thought I about communicating to him I mixed it up with the word commute then I was like whoa trippy, they are close sounding and one means moving yourself from one place to another and one means moving a thought or idea from one place to another. I am an idiot. That is why I barely ever smoke drugs.

When I was teenager I went thru a few pothead stages and one time I was sitting around high in this dingey house we used to hang out at listening to the guys' shitty punk music and I got to thinking whoa, guys like punk music because it is vowel focused and guys are the vowels and women are the consonants. I was totally into it, and then suddenly I was like wait a minute, NO WAY! WOMEN ARE THE VOWELS AND MEN ARE THE CONSONANTS. Then I quit smoking dope for awhile cus I was like wow, you are retarded.

I feel really unattractive today and my pictures are depressing me.

Krista asked me to write her a fuck'u haiku so here it is....

krista hearts ocean
more like bikini show-off
a slut in disguise