The Lewd Angel

my hat was my valentine

I am very sad to tell you that I lost my awesome homemade hat at the airport in Toronto. I realized before the plane left the airport and I tried to go back and get it but they had already started to pull the crooked hallway away from the door. I thought about throwing an airplane panic fit to get it back, like when you hear about people going right crazy and running back and forth all over the plane until they get their way but I decided it would be a bad idea. They told me that maybe they will mail me the hat which seems totally not gonna happpen but whatever. I also tried to think up some story in my head that would make the hat sound more important than just I'M REALLY PROUD OF MYSELF FOR KNITTING IT but the best thing I could come up with was something like my dead grandma made me the hat but that story didn't seem like something I could say to validate chucking a freak. Oh what else? I was gonna take a picture of it when I had it but I didn't because I have a pimple and now I regret it. So the moral of the story is you never know how long your time with your knitting will last so throw your vanity aside and make the most of the time you have together.




I feel like I should say something about Valentines. Holidays make me sad just because you always remember details about them and think was I happy or sad on such and such day last year and unless you are really happy now it always makes you feel sad. I never really had a romantic v-day and in a way it's good that I am not missing anything this year. Last year my boyfriend was away and he said he'd take me out when he got back but then he didn't have any money, then he had money but he just kept saying no I don't have enough money because I want to take you to do something extra fancy and nice. It turned out to be a trick to never do anything. THANKS. I guess I didn't do anything for him for Valentines either but I sorta think it's a holiday where men should just do stuff for women cus women do stuff naturally and men don't care about it so much. One time on Valentines my mom dropped off a 12 pack in front of my door. I think that was the best Valentines ever.

I never got flowers from a man. Not true; actually one guy who stalked me at my job gave me a flower once and one guy off the street gave me a flower and said "I've never slept with a Canadian woman before...". It was extremely romantic.




I was tempted to stay in PEI cus I went to see a doctor who said she'd get me to see an actual head doctor and actually help but I guess I have to work and whatever. I went a little crazy one night there. I don't know how to explain it because sometimes it is like I get in this crazy depressed mode for a bit and then afterwards I don't even feel like it was me. A lot of the time I'm just fine and I feel stupid for thinking I'm crazy. It feels a bit like every now and then I just get posessed or drunk on crazy or something. I shouldn't even talk about that kinda thing because I just get annoyed when random people offer their internet psychoanalysis's.

I actually went to the psych ward for a night. It sounds very dramatic but at the time it was right to go. Ugh I hate to write about it because I hate to sound like I am bragging about the crazies. Some guy in highschool went there for a bit and then kept his wristband after as tho it was very cool. It's losery enough when people keep their concert wristbands on. Keeping your psychward wristband is the ultimate loser thing to do.




Anyway I'm a loser cus I took glam shots in the hospital but there wasn't much else to do cus it was pretty boring in there. Jill was like pfffffft way to wish you were Angelina Jolie in girl interupted when she saw that picture and I thought it was a pretty good joke. I wish the psych ward was full of interesting glam young women. It's totally moreso full of old people that don't talk and the half retarded.

A lot of PEI was dissapointing and awkward. I built up the feeling of home so big in my mind. I wanted really badly for some things to be great. Even things like my omelet at breakfast. When you look forward to an omelet for months it's hard for the omelet to live up to your expectations.




P.S. My hits per day are down almost half. HELP!

Tuesday, February 14, 2006