finding emo
My memory is fucked lately, and my dreams are vivid. When you combine this and alcohol everything jumbles together and I don't know what is real and what is imagined. Did I do this thing and I don't remember so hot cus I was drunk or did it never happen? Did I just dream it? I remember tidbits of conversation and I am like who did I have that conversation with? Was it just with myself? I think it was at home, and no one was here. When I signed in to msn today my name was "yo ryan" because I guess I wanted to alert him last night that I was in the mood to talk in case he came on. Sometimes when people drink and black out a bit, finding out the clues of what they did last night can be kinda fun. You know "oh haha NOW I remember" With me clues show up and they embarrass me, I want them gone. How many times have I looked on my camera the day after drinking and here is this picture of me hugging some guy? fuck, too many. I mostly delete them because I don't want to think about it. It's like reading a sad diary. |
2 comment(s):
A sad photo diary, even more explicit than a written one.
Happens to me a lot too, especially after drinking, and I remember conversations that happened maybe 2 years ago and have no relevance to the now.
add me to MSN.
By
Krista, at
1:19 p.m.
I wish you could stop by, and I'd buy you a cup of coffee. I'd really like to take you by the shoulders, look you in the eye and tell you to relax - take a deep breath.
You will be alright. These burdens that you carry will, in the end, be a rich blessing in your life. They will give you a wonderful understanding of the human condition, that can only translate into your being a kind soul.
I wish you could see all the good there is in you - it is apparent to the rest of us. The 'slutty' behavior, the drinking, it is all a mask that, for whatever reason, you are needing to wear now. Melissa, it does NOT define who you are.
Be kind to yourself.
By
Anonymous, at
9:04 a.m.
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