don't worry this orgy of consumerism will be over soon
Oh My God I did the same thing I did pretty much every other day of this week which was GO TO THE MALL! I am so sick of looking at retarded shit all the time and listening to lame efforts at modernizing Christmas music. I heard one song today that I think was the Barenaked Ladies and it was like about Christmas from the elves perspective and next time you ask for a toy think about the poor elf. How about instead of feeling sorry for something THAT DOESN'T FUCKING EXIST I WILL FEEL SORRY FOR MYSELF BECAUSE I AM LISTENING TO THE LAMEST PIECE OF SHIT MUSIC I HAVE EVER HEARD IN MY LIFE.
I think about all the soap sets, teddy bears and lame ornaments and I think about all the effort that was put into making them. I think about a time when making that kind of stuff was not as easy. I think about if you actually went back in time and explained like yes well first we friggin harnessed wax and scents from god knows where and made them into candles then we made plastic by some fucking miracle of science and wrapped it around the candles and then we shipped it across the world and then we lit up and heated a building to keep it in and made dumb consumer studies to attract people to the building and then we worked so we could make money so we could buy it so we could ship it across the country to our relative that we barely know and she put it in her closet and maybe next year she will send it to someone else. When I think about going back in time and explaining to people how much work goes into this pointless pointless activity it frustrates the hell outta me and I go around telling everyone that I hate Christmas.
Oh wait I just thought of the the actual worst Christmas song ever and they play it in PEI but not here I don't think because it's way too backwoods but, the song is called I think "the christmas shoes" and it is about how this mom is dying and it's Christmas day and all she wanted for Christmas was this pair of fancy shoes and they scraped up all their money to get mom the shoes and so they will probably starve for the next month but atleast she will get to wear them to the special occasion of her funeral. The chorus goes something like "mommy will be wearing those shoes when she meets Jesus tonight"
WORST SONG EVER .
And by the way after I came home from the mall I went completly retarded and annoyed the hell out of my family because I wouldn't stop talking in this stupid british accent and making all these hilarious jokes like "don't forget to pack the world peace" and I made this flute out of an empty wrapping paper tube and wrote Melissa's magical x-mas flute on it and played lots of cool songs and then put it in my mouth and wacked my dad in the head repeatedly with it. Then I told my stepmom that instead if giving chocolate to the people at work she should just take them some cat poop and pretend it is chocolate. Then I changed the words around to "I'll be home for Christmas" to "I'll be annoying for Christmas" and I told them how every everytime I open a present I am going to say "I don't care for it" in a British accent and when I open my 8 year old brother's gift that he prolly made me I will tell him that it sucks. I also pretended I was really really old and went on about how about they abused me and made me use a handmade flute for a cane and I told them that Cottom Ontario is the place where dreams come true.
Nihoa says:
are you staying in ottawa all winter?
Beaksneaker says:
prolly
Beaksneaker says:
dont really want to
Beaksneaker says:
i dont really know what else to do with myself
Nihoa says:
dont ask me cause i dont want to say what everyone else says and then you get all mad
Beaksneaker says:
hahahahha
Beaksneaker says:
unless you know what i should do
Nihoa says:
noone can tell you what to do
Beaksneaker says:
except god
Beaksneaker says:
hahahahahhahahaha
Nihoa says:
you and god chat?
Beaksneaker says:
fuck yah
Beaksneaker says:
he leaves comments on my blog
Beaksneaker says:
he says stuff like show me your tits just joking i created them!
Oh yeah and this is the stupidest painting ever created. Maybe you can't tell but those hockey players are like "ghosts" so the message of the painting is now I sit in a directors chair on the rink but I am still surrounded by the ghosts of my past achievements which is somehow related to a bunch of kids tripping eachother and shit.
I don't think my Christmas getaway includes internet so you will have to be sad without me for a few days if you feel like giving me a gift you can link to me and or send me an awesome email praising my many skills and talents. Merry Christmas Nerds!
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