The Lewd Angel

Mad Bad Sad Dad

I didn't take a single picture today so you will get a bunch more old reject pictures from other days again. I am in my same bad sleep all day, need a fucking drink, hate winter, am sick of living with my parents mood as I was yesterday but I am going to try and talk about somethiing else.


I actually want all those who don't know me to know that I haven't always lived with my parents or anything. I moved out when I was seventeen, they were kinda mad about it because they knew I was just moving to other side of the country to do drugs and drink my face off and NOT further my education. Anyway I did a bunch of stuff since then and moved a whole bunch because that's what I do. I also got in lots of fights with roomates. I have been living at home cus I got sick of doing stuff like pawning my magazines so I could get the 20 dollars required to get blitzed on a Tuesday night. Actually, I didn't get sick of it, that's a lie. It's more that my roomates were always sick of having me coming home blitzed on a Tuesday night. Anyway I moved home and paid off my debts and have been in the process of "trying to change my life around" but now I don't know how I want it to change other than get better.


If you would be my friend I would probably ask you all the time "what should I do with myself?" and you would say "I don't know what do you want to do" and then I would get all crabby with you for not knowing what I should do and I would say something totally unreasonable like "I only want to be born again". When I get depressed I get obsessed with the idea of being born again. One time I got all upset and went under this shelf in my closet in the fetal position and pretended that I was in a womb and that I would be born again. Shortly after I checked myself into the crazy ward. I really liked it in there but my doctor kicked me out for not being crazy enough and just hanging around for the free meals or something.



This is my friend Jill and this is the story she just told me.

Crap
I fucked something up so I can't copy and paste it all. crap crap

anyway I will just tell you that I said to her
whoa that picture is intense!

and then she said
remember that lady who goes around Charlottetown and she sells weird shit like potholders and hangers with yarn on them?

then I said yes

then Jill told me how she was in charlottetown with her sister and she just started to cry but then she put that potholder on her head to cheer herself up

I asked her if she was sad for the lady and then the last actual true to word remnant of the conversation comes in and she said:

yeah i think i was sad cause people make fun of her but selling wierd things makes her happy so they shouldn't make fun of her. cause people at school laughed at her. aand also i ...ugh i don't know. i think it was just one of those things where you just kind of cry for not a real reason

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Wednesday, December 21, 2005