underwater magic
I was trying to go to sleep on the couch but I can't sleep and also I just keep on thinking about ways that I am a bitch and it's kind of funny. Here is a story I thought to tell you.
One time I had a girlfriend but I knew I was't really gay when I had her. I went out with her cus I had a crush on her and also because I was mad at Joe I think it was sort of a thing that was like fuck you MEN! especially you JOE! see what you did? you turned me GAY! pfffft
Anyway, she was cute but sort of overweight and I wasnt into her taking her clothes off ever so she would just get me off but whenever it would be "her turn" I would pull out the I'M NOT COMFORTABLE WITH MY SEXUALITY card because I am a bitch. I dumped her after three months cus I'm not gay and plus she drank like crazy and I guess she was cheating on me so don't feel bad for her.
Another funny thing is that after we broke up one time she decided to pretend to a bunch of people at a party that I probably gave her aids and all these people at the party were ganging up on me but no one would tell me WHY and she was hiding in a circle of dumb ass summerside people who were into the idea of me giving her aids or something and when I finally broke through to her and was like WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS ALL ABOUT?!?!? and found out what crazy shit she was pulling I pushed her and she fell back like three feet because she is so drunk all the time and also really short. Seriously, that girl just flies. Crystal pushed her one time too. hahahhahahaha I'll tell you that story in a minute. Okay yeah so I pushed her and her wine glass went flying too and the next day the rumour around town was that I broke a wine glass and stabbed her with it. My town town thinks I am insane and they like to make rumours with me stabbing people with broken liquor containers.
I have more. After this whole incident she started to date this girl named Heather who was really tall and who hated me with a passion. She would always threaten to beat me up and one time at the bar she poured a whole beer over my head and I cried. One night Crystal and I were at the bar and so were Heather and Diana (that's my ex) and they were holding hands or something and when they walked by Crystal goes DYKES! because she is awesome at jokes. Anyway, they got all WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?! and huffy about it and Diana went up to Crystal and pushed her so Crystal pushed her back and once again Diana went on a three feet fly and then her and Heather got kicked out of the bar for being bitches. When we went to leave the bar Heather was waiting outside for Crystal and punched her in the face or neck or something and ripped out her earring and the police were right behind her and arrested her and charged her with assault and she had to write Crystal an apology letter. |
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