I notice things.
I left my ipod in Toronto. I'm on the bus, bored. The air is getting stuffy and I feel liek I can't breathe. Since I dont have any music to listen to I get to listen to all jerk offs with cell phones call people to tell them that they will call them later. Good one flourescant green skull shirt and camo pants.
The highlight of this bus ride is that Tweed is surprisingly pretty but the 8th time you've driven thru Tweed the place has totally lost it's unexpected charm.
Claire's dad wrote a book about penises and I read it on the bus. Here is a excerpt from it.
We are all just a bunch of soft, pink, squishy viruses...
Trying to make it in this infinitesimally small corner...
Of our ever-expanding, convoluted universe...
And...by what means...?
By squirtin tiny, little jellied tadpoles into each other...
Imagine that...
That's it.
Sounds pretty silly don't it?
Who the hell thought that up...anyways...?
Little tiny jellied tadpoles...
Some idiot in Sales and Marketing, probably...
Squirt, squirt, squirt...
"Swim boy, swim..."
So...
Like I'm thinkin...
Maybe it's the tadpoles, after all..
Holdin all the secrets...
Maybe...
Just maybe...
They are like...some alien race...
From another planet or something...
Or...time travellers...
Using really strong, really tiny magnets...
Or something...
And...
We don't really make the tadpoles, ourselves...
It's like...
They make themselves, in out bodies...
Using us...
Instead of us...using them....
Like...
I guess that would make my dick...
Some kind of alien spaceship or something....
I'm bored of all y crushes now and I feel that I need to make a resolution similar to Jess's beard exclusive dating rule to keep me entertained but I can't think of a good one.
I noticed a tendancy in Toronto people to spend a bit of time accusing others of being hipsters and scenesters and downplaying all hipster/scenester qualities they themselves hold. I pretty much had no clue what any of them were talking about until last night I went to a hipster bar and I decided I don't like them. Rurally the the hipster would be known as a fag, well teh biy opnes anyway. One guy had a button that said "smoking hurts everyone" right over his shirt pocket with his cigarettes peeking out. Maybe irony is to hipsters as make up is to Tammy Faye Baker, they lay it on so thick you can't even take them seriously as a gender anymore. I dunno, I don't care for a lot of their music either.
My bus is running an hour late by the way which means I will be late for work. I'm in Perth right now which claims to be the prettiest toen in Ontario. All I have to say about that is DON'T BELIEVE THE HYPE.
more pictures later |
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