the crying game
My head is filled with all kinds of ideas but I never follow through. This is why I am 25 and live at home. I have a bunch of projects "on the go" but I can never seem to finish them. I get so far and then I stop. I can't explain why. I get discouraged. I feel everything is so hard and big and I can't take it on. This is what depresses and frustrates me to no end. I wonder if I am half retarded or what. I feel creative so I buy paints and canvasses and notebooks and tape recorders and then I fill them with shit or they sit empty. I need help getting all my creative out of me because it makes me feel insane to have so much unaccomplished shit sitting in my head. Sometimes I can't sleep at night because I think I need to go to Russia, I need to buy a computer, I need to move to Toronto, and I feel like I cannot wait ANOTHER DAY, meanwhile I have zero money. I've been on three vacations since Christmas and already I am like holy shit I need to get out of this town NOW or I am gonna lose it It's not as if I have this stressful lifestyle. I work part time and have have no bills. I think I need to leave all the time because I need to forget about the all the things I wanted to be and am not.
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