grandma doesnt want to see your boner
That is my homework that I got back today and I got 17 out of 20 on it. ARE YOU JEALOUS?
I would be. The teacher had it for a week and I forgot that I was cool, I was remembering that it sucked because of how I was like HANDS? How about.......a bunch of scratchy marks for hands?
Today was my first day of not drinking like an alcoholic. It was boring. Not really on account of of lack of alcohol; it was just boring. I can't wait till I get super thin and hot again and then get straight teeth and then maybe I will have a chance of getting laid before my heart and vagina decide to implode.
ugh I am gross. I am supposed to be doing homework right now. I need to paint two more pictures of berries but instead I really want to do this other picture that has santa claus with a boner innit. His pubic hair is all white and fluffy like santa's pubic hair would be.
I am going to call the painting bonerland "2". I even have an explanation for that. Well mostly I just think its funny.
Anyway, I cant stop pretending that I am a grandma. I actually dont feel like it is a phase, I feel sort of like I discovered a new facet of my personality and I am really excited about it. I am excited to grow together, like I am glad to have the company in my brain or something. Also, okay, I cant really do this so much now on account of the not-drinking-so-much thing but it is pretty fun to say things like "go get grandma some gin". It is probably worth getting old and having kids just to get the chance to seriously say that. Heaven is probably like that, just a bunch of seniors with a bunch of awkward prepubescent pudgy kid servants running around doing their bidding.
Anyway,
I have shit to do. |
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