punching a baby in the solar plexus
I just went to go look at an apartment for rent and it put me into a depression spiral. It was super small and dirty. I think it was smaller than my place now but there was a bathroom and kitchen and double bed crammed in there. The place next door was this crack house with the windows all smashed in and garbage all over the lawn and pop cans shoved into the mailbox. It was one of those things where the landlord gets ten different people to come at once and we all waited outside in the rain for him for him to show up and he was late and at first everyone made jokes about how we will have to fistfight each other for the place but after a few minutes of that we just all stood around and felt cold. He took us in to see it in groups of twos on account of the tiny-ness. There was barely any room to move and the guy who lives there now obviously didn't make an effort to clean anything because there was streams of filth all down the cupboards. The landlord was all haha, well it could use a good cleaning in this way that was supposed to make it seem like it would be a pretty awesome place to live if it was not coated in dirt . There was a big space heater in there too and the other girl asked if it was cold and he was all, oh no this guy is from south america, it is warm enough; he is just crazy for heat. The guy who lived there had this bottle of cologne by his bed that was shaped like a man's torso and I think that was the thing that depressed me most of all because I pictured him putting on the cologne and going out to pick up and bringing home some girl and how it would feel to be waking up next to some guy in that garbage bin.
I hate landlords and looking for apartments because you just end up waiting around forever to walk into other peoples recipes for suicide and the whole time the landlord is there trying to sell it to you, like yes for only 575 a month you could wake up and want to kill yourself every morning, but seriously; it's cosy.
There is a couple in my hometown that owns a hotel and a bunch of apartments around town. I used to be a maid part time in the hotel. They are pretty terrible to work for cus they are super cheap and the hotel is trashy and full of stinky teenaged hockey players all the time. I told you about that a long time ago. There was this woman who worked in the kitchen at the the hotel and lived in one of their apartments who killed herself. She was the second person who worked for them and lived in that building who killed themselves. After she died they hauled about hundred empty 24's out of her place. Ugh, I wonder if the couple was thankful to have the money from bringing back her empties. Another sad thing about it was that she had a cat that still lived in her apartment all alone for a week after she killed herself. I'd always walk by and see him meowing in the window. It gave me the spooks.
The couple themselves are pretty depressing too because they are pretty old and the man is going blind or something and they should probably just sell all their crap and travel around the world because they have a ton of money but they just work all time because I guess peddling a sense utter hopelessness to half the town is their one true passion.
When I was 19 I had a landlord who tried to get me to pay the rent in sexual favours. I told him that I couldn't afford to live there anymore and he came over and was like hmm, well let's go for a drive and talk about it, so I went and told him every avenue I had to get him some more money, talked about working on house stuff to pay a portion of the rent etc. None of it was acceptable to him and finally he parked the car and just said hmmm, if only there was something we could do over and over again. Fuck it was awkward. On the bright side he always gave me good references because I guess he wanted to stay on my good side after that. |
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