let's get gentle!
Here is a story about my life.
I just did a comedy show in a nowhereish zone where people don't ususally go and I didnt feel like telling jokes so mostly I just "talked" to the people and told them how the other day I was lying in bed being gross and pathetic and how I picked my nose and rolled up the booger and went to chuck it and how the booger ricocheted off the wall and hit me in the face and how since then I believe in God because I think that the booger hitting me in the face was pretty much like a sign that I was supposed to get out of bed and stop lying there picking my nose. Then on the way home I was like WHOA why am I the most embarrassing person on the planet? and I felt a little bit sad.
Also on the way home I had to walk by these two guys that were outside drunken midnight shovelling the driveway and I was scared because I am captain imagination and I was all maybe they are just pretending to shovel so that they can look natural before they rape and kill me. Whatever. They didn't. But, I want you all to take note of that fact that I live in a pretty classy neighbourhood and drunk shovelling is therefore "weird" here. It all kinda made sense when I got closer and saw what house it was. That house had drunk guys catcalling me on their porch all summer in front of a bunch of kids that also live there. I guess drunk porch catcallers=drunk midnight shovellers. I don't know.
After that I bought a microwavable chimichanga as well as a pepperoni and cheese stick combo pack. ARE YOU PROUD? The chimichanga tasted like cheese flavoured play-dough and the pepperoni stick and cheese tasted like scratching lottery tickets.
The end.
Because of my job I end up hanging around a lot of Canadian entertainers, a lot of like comercial actors and much music pundits and reality tv people. I think it would be funny if I made a blog that was like one of those celebrity gossip blogs like pinkisthenewblog style but it would be all about like my glamourous lifestyle of hanging with d?-list celebrities or whatever and I could be like SPOTTED! The actor from that gum commercial where he eats a peice of gum and then his head freezes and falls off! DANCING! with Melissa in the kitchen at 5 o'clock in the morning! He was seductively rubbing an iron all over his body while she was sucking on the toaster's plug.
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