The Lewd Angel

Okay everytime I come home drunk and post a bunch of garbled shit I realise at the time that I am drunk and posting garbled shit which is not a cool memory to wake up to and not a good post but at the time I am always like; this post doesn't suck It is REAL!

fuuuck

So I puked this morning from drinking too much last night which I have never done in all my years. And they say you can't teach an old dog new tricks. Shazam. I got the puking thing down.

Some things I thought while puking.

-I am never drinking homemade Orangina again.
-Remember Eno? You know "bubbly bubbly eno" I was thinking...ONE does that product still exist? TWO why did they stop advertising it? THREE what ever caused them to believe that a cheerful jingle was the right approach to sell a product that is supposed to make you puke and how many people think about the eno song when they are about to puke.
-Occasionally I have entertained the idea of going bulemia styles for the weight loss but egh gross what is wrong with those people. Puke smells AWEFUL.
-I was thinking about puking in space. Liek do astronauts puke in space? or do they get trained NOT to puke under any circumstance. Also you would think they have just in case plan and I wonder what it is. It is probably just puke in this bag.

haha I should have puked into a Giant Tiger bag, just because I am obsessed with Giant Tiger bags in ways I cannot explain. I think about Giant Tiger bags every day and everytime I see one I am kind of like IT'S A SIGN although I'm not sure what it is sign of. I realise it is completely retarded but I think ever since the day that I mysteriously lost my giant tiger bag I have this kind of suspicion leftover from it that Giant Tiger bags are endowed with magical properties. Umm none of that means I'm crazy by the way.

I havn't been writing on here because I've been working so much and and my mind has been overrun by personal issues. Basically men are not romantically interested in me and I am extremely sensitive about it. I am not the kind of person who is the type to just say hey that's cool I'm not cut out for the company of other people because I strongly believe that love is one of the most important things we need for health and survival, not saying just romantic love, it's just that thats the direction it normally kind has to go when you get older because adults are not as close knit with eachother. I can feel mental illness nipping at my heels and I am terrified to slip into a depressive episode again. I know a lot more people now than I did last year and it would make insane self destructive depression kind of socially awkward. Maybe that is a good thing.

Also I have been having sharp pain in my right breast on and off for few months now and it has gotten alot more frequent and worse so I have decided that I have breast cancer and you can count me out for masectomy because I would not be able to cope with that. Which is partially why I havn't been to the doctor about it but now I think I am gonna go and hope they can tell me it's not cancer so I'll stop worrying about it.

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Monday, December 11, 2006