stinky sweaty gross ball
I went to the writers festival last night to see Amanda's play. She got interviewed for ctv WOOOOOO.
I got a swag bag for free and I am really excited about it because it is the perfect size for bringing paper around and also it says writers festival on it so now I can bring it to the coffee shop and write and people will think I was in the writers fest myself and they'll be thinking to themselves how I am probably writing some deep reflections on life or or something but really I will be making a list of top ten uses for a homo-erotically charged magical k-way windbreaker.
After that we went the other writers and actors and everyone out to drink. There was this one actor guy who was fucking annoying as hell. Here is some stuff he did.
-First of all while he is acting in the play his cell phone goes off THREE TIMES. I can't what the fuck? that enough.
-He went on and on about gerbils or something. I think he was making all these gerbil jokes; I was kind ignoring him.
-When my drink came he's like hey that looks like gerbil piss, when someone elses drink comes he's like hey that looks like grandpa's piss. Hey you like a 40 year old man making the same terrible joke over and over again.
-He had an accent, english or australian, which I suspect he may have been faking.
-He loudly and proudly let us all know that he has never had a drink of alcohol in his life. It drives me insane when people think that not trying alcohol is a point of pride. It's like being proud you never drove a car or something. Shut up.
-He decides to play guess what Amanda's name is and guesses all these fucking ridiculous names like Ambrosia? Petrova? When she says her name he is like what? your name is slut?
-He starts playing with his steak knife like he was just holding the tip of the knife on the end of the table with his finger and with his other hand he is like violently flicking it. He was sitting right next to Amanda and she kinda says hey can you stop that I'm afraid its gonna like flip off and go into my eye, so he puts the knife down and starts doing it with a fork, she's like uhh yeah I dont want to get hit with a fork either so he puts out down and then out of flustered rage or something dumps over his glass of ice and starts trying to do it with a straw but manages to just get ice all over his lap.
-When he leaves he is all like BYE DRUNKS! YOU DRUNKARDS! even tho none of us are acting drunk and half of us weren't even drinking. |
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