fedorable
Dos and Don'ts of attending Bluesfest.
Do go alone and get drunk. I know that drinking alone is one of the signs of alcoholism BUT it's not as if you are home alone crying into leftover take out, slamming back g and t's while making origami out of junkmail. So seriously, it's okay. Plus real alcoholics never admit that they have a drinking problem, so all you need to do is claim that you have a drinking problem and it will negate any problem you may have had. Magic rules.
Don't however be my age and be there alone cracked out on drugs. Especially don't be cracked out and yelling out retarded questions like HEY IS THAT A CELLO OR AN UPRIGHT BASE? and then when the guy answers, respond with it's really shiney. Pretty sure that a cello is played with a bow and that we are at bluesfest not burning man.
p.s. you're scaring the kids.
Do set up your OWN autograph tent. Maybe in a three person escort you brought yourself. You did stand up three times. You got reckognized. You're a fucking amateur superstar. The world needs peices of paper with your handwriting on it.
Don't bumrush the stage and just rap out WELL BEHAVED! WELL BEHAVED!
seriously.
You know what? I would advise you to keep away from any activity that could be described as "bumrushing" at all times.
Do cry a whole bunch of weird amazed short one wail cries when you see feist because her voice sounds like ahem, God here.
Don't be the annoying superfans who dance right in front of everyone when it is still sit down time for everyone else, especially if your dancing is not actual dancing but you and your friend flailing around and giggling over the fact that you are like 5 feet away from some singer guy you have a can-con crush on. Take your he's so dreamy head tilt back to your blanket and out of everyones elses view. If you want to gayly fantasize that every time this dude looks at you he is copping a feel of your soul with his eyes that's fine but reach deep inside yourself and find the dignity not to make it obvious.
p.s.
dear italian soccer fans,
Please go more mental at your earliest convenience.
Melissa |
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