charming toilet tales
I eat a lot of breakfast. Pretty much every day; I go out for breakfast. Today I went to a new dingey place and it was greasy and they gave me the hugest tomatoe slice I have ever seen in my life. I kinda didn't want to eat it because it was so unnatural. Look at it. It's bigger than a peice of bread.
I just had a big dump. Oh yeah!Here is my invention: a toilet that has measuring marks inside of it so you could see how much water you displaced with your dumps, so could be like hmmm I dumped half a cup today,well done melissa! It would be disgustingly-fascinating and anorexia-bulimia bitches would love it. What is the brand of eating disorder girl who just takes laxatives all the time? I would be that one if I had an eating disorder because I like eating too much and puking is gross to me. Also, I could never be one of those insane excersizers because BOOORING. I remember watching some beware anorexia movie in school and the girl was like super intense running up and down these bleacher stairs and jogging all the time till she would pass out. I would just be like umm where am I going in such a hurry? fuck this, I'll go have monster dumps; atleast then I can read a book or something.
I have to go somewhere tomorrow night and I need a date to come with me. hmmm.
I dress like a retard.
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