unicorn sandwiches
I had started to write a book on this computer before it crashed and now that it is fixed a year later I can access what I wrote but I am kind of scared to; thzt it will be crappy and discouraging if I do. I decided that I want to write a story about a detective now since I like to imagine I am detective so much and since I like humourous detective stories so much. I still want to pack in some morals and some ghosts and that bit where the unicorn comes to rescue me into it somehow so it is kind a tough to come up with plot.
I like how my boss is addicted to gambling and asks people how wheelchairey they are.
Okay so I had a drag of a cigarette tonight and it is pretty good but you know what is awesome? The aftermath smell of your cigarette finger. It is pretty much as good as smoking holding that finger up to your nose. why?
I havn't had a lot on my mind lately. I can't write. I feel sort of distressingly sane. Like I am bored, but not in the dramatic oh my god I am so bored that I might as well self destruct way which lends itself so nicely to writing. I drink a million cups of tea and try to take pleasure in the plunk noise the tea bag makes when I drop it in the sink (as opposed to directly in the garbage specifically for the plunk noise) . I sign into msn and change my name into "I have the night off" to let my "contacts" know I am available for socializing but nothing comes of it and I stay up painting by myself all night. I am getting a lot better at painting. Sometimes I feel like I am in a Bruce Mccullugh song. Like when I am up at 4:30 re-reading a flyer I got from the art store a couple of days ago but I rationalize that I am not that sad because atleast I might buy art crap and take some degree of pleasure in using it. I also look at pictures of myself from when I was thin and then I get sort of depressed and stop lookign at them. I am joining a gym I am pretty sure if I make enough money this weekend. Oh yeah, and also I wore the super-mom hat out today and it was awesome and at work they took it away from me and I nearly cried cus I was in the crazy mode where I can't stop dancing and weird lame things make me cry. I guess that part is not not crazy but it is regular to whatever thing is wrong with me so I'm used to it. Anyway the hat is awesome I am pretty sure I will have a love affair with it similar to the one I had going on with the mini briefcase. Remind me that I am going to paint something with the hat and the briefcase. |
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