I made up a really good pun about "the nanny" but now I forget it.
I wonder if when I get older that I will be like all filled with regret like I coulda been a famous blogger and I will be like reliving the glory days of internet creeps sending me a million messages that are like YOU ARE UGLY! also, p.s. here is a picture of my cock in case you wanna fuck.ugh
I miss writing. I think what happened is that I sort of got a life. Umm, I also don't even mean that like uh, hi I am above this now. Having a life is pretty boring to tell the truth because you are like oh do you want to hear my form letter?
Nobody wants to read a strangers form letter.
My form letter is like umm my boobs shrank and my stomach got pregnanty looking. I guess it looked like that all along and I just noticed it the other day when I had to watch a video of myself. I dunno I should have a porn site that caters to guys with foot fetishes who are really into thin-ish girls that are 3 months pregnant.
One thing that sort of depresses me is that I always think now Oh man, I should blog about my job, like I will think I should blog about this annoying customer or whatever. I am like oh yeah I will be the Joan of Arc of waitresses if I blog about my job. THE WORLD WILL RENDER ITSELF A PEACEFUL PLACE IF I BLOG ABOUT BEING A WAITRESS.
Whatever. Someone please explain to me about Joan of Arc. The truth is I don't even know a whole lot about her.
Anyway what I was going to say about having a life is that, I dunno, I don't think you can really be all that funny when you have a life because instead of hanging around the STREETZ watching crackheads or saying every funny thing that exists in the world to say before you commit the suicidez you are worrying about your boring life or something.
The thing about having a life is that every now and then I get to sort of thinking about things like this moment in your life how you feel and then about other moments in your life how you felt and then suddenly you feel far far away from the time right now. I don't mean that you feel like in the past time but more just like you are drifting over all the times or maybe the future time. No. More like all the time. Umm guys, do you like know what it's like when you are like, you know, drifting over the totality of all time?
umm haha
Anyway, it's a weird feeling that makes me sort of want to absent mindedly masturbate.
FIGURE THAT ONE OUT.
Oh yeah here is another thing. To apply to University I need to write a mature student letter that explains you know why I want to go now why I didn't want to go before, why my grades sucked etc. The thing is that I am terrible at writing. A lot of my ideas are not words but they are patterns and lines and imaginary elastic bands inside my head. So I am trying to sort of say how I had shitty grades because I didn't value them because I didn't plan on going to university because I thought that was boring and I was all teenagery and out to break the mold or whatever but whenever I try to think of how to say it I think of this...
I guess that little explosion of lines could represent stuff like you know becoming white trash but I can't really say that to them. Well, I cant really say any of it to them. I am the worst writer in the world because I just dont know how to do it. I am so romantic and dramatic that I am trying to explain that picture to them and I am like I saw graduating as a great landmark in my life and then more ornate garbage that I can't even explain. Words do not even exist that are gay enough to express how totally gay I get when I am trying to write something formal. My writing is like someone who knows how to toll paint and they learnt some formula for painting flowers and they are really proud about it so then they are like you know what I am going to paint GODS BOUQUET and you are like umm that is the dumbest thing I have ever heard in my life.
Anyway if you understand what I am trying to say in that letter and you have a way to express it in a sentence or two you should share it with me and I would be grateful. |
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