candy apple razor blades
Yesterday I was cruising the health sites on the internet and decided that I have every disease known to man; scarlett fever, herpes, flesh eating disease, pelvic inflammatorry disease, strep throat, flesh eating disease, syphillis, and a bunch more I cant remember what they are called.
I think I got all that stuff from this sketchy bikini wax I had. Is that possible? In case you didn't know I have a tendancy to hypochondria about stds. When I woke up I was over it but now that I just wrote it all down I am like oh shit I probably do have all that stuff so maybe I will go to the doctor because I definately did just cough up a bunch of flem and I can't talk out loud so hot. sexy hunh?
The other day I was at the coffee shop and when I left this guy that was at the coffee shop musta decided he was in love with me cus three blocks away he shows up behind me running saying "exuse me" and then asking me if I lived around there and saying he wanted to meet me and I am pretty etc etc.
weird.
I think it was maybe because I was writing stuff for my book in the coffee store so I musta looked kinda deep and mysterious to him or something. I dunno, you know when people are writing in stuff you are always thinking what are they writing? and judge if they are writing something cool or not. He musta decided I was writing something incredibly cool, which I really was. Seriously, if my book ever gets written it will be a good one. Anyway, that was weird and he was weird cus he had super long hair in two braids and he told me that his name was "Irish" which I suspect is a name he gave himself. I kinda think people who change their first names must be weird unhappy trying to be something better than their past. Sometimes I wanna change my first name and I know that the urge comes from a strange place. Anyway I really hope that it is not some blog reader who figured out where I live posing as a stranger in a coffee shop.
p.s. I know a guy who used to hang out at coffee shops and write stuff, I think expressely for the purpose of looking deep and mysterious. He was a huge wanker, known to the town as flamer fil. He dated a 16 year old girl then after they broke up; a 40 year old woman. The older woman had tweety bird mudflaps on her car. A bunch of us all used to hang out at this same coffee shop and I was his enemy and he'd always call me ditzy and stupid and I'd call him lame and faggottey.
The end.
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