Legna Dwel Eht
I didn't win the lottery. I decided to name this year of women and children first. I don't really know what it means. Maybe that I will date only women and children. Okay young men. Maybe instead of that I will hold the door for women and children or just umm generally be chivalrous. I dunno.
Ugh I am sick of looking at this blog.
I think I might have gotten ripped off by the lady at the hooked mat store because I just realised how little linen I got for much money.
insert oversized shrug here.
I had my first back to school class and my teacher seems pretty instense and she has one of those funny bodies like she has these really narrow hips and no ass really, like it looks like maybe she has wooden legs under her pants type of thing.
Today this homeless guy that I walk by all the time grabbed me and I dunno he thought I was Liv Tyler and he was like following me kind of and yelling at me like BE SAFE! HAPPY NEW YEAR! and a whole bunch of Live Tyler related stuff. God I get hit on by homeless guys a lot. I am Snow White to them.
I got my comic software installed. Bler blah blah.
Am I fucking void of thought? I just wow, I sometimes wonder like what happened to umm my thoughts? Do I even think about anything anymore? Do other people feel like that? How can I be so utterly sick of every possible kind of symbol in my head. Bored of it all really I think.
Actually here is what I keep thinking about. I keep thinking about stories cracking open. I don't know if I am just trying to figure out a word for what I mean or what but I keep holding onto imaginary coconuts and cracking them against my knee when I walk and imagining all these secrets spilling out of them. I keep thinking about stories that feel like that and how they are my favourite. I am obsessing about comedy again but still just don't feel funny and am doing horrible at it. I feel like I am in junior high again at the lunch room room when I go to comedy shows I am just this awkward like uhhh I have nowhere to sit girl and avoiding eye contact of everyone that I sort of know because I feel like too uncomfortable to talk to anyone.
I think about art a lot and I worry about getting sick of it or I worry that I dont even like to do it. Also though maybe that is dumb thing to think because I do. I am just less ambitious than I would like to be with everything.
I think about bed sheets like waves. I picture characters from the past washing up in my bed. I picture them like dead bloated bodies that come alive and are like "oooo sexy panties". I mean it is a pretty funny idea in my head but I can't quite figure out how to put the same idea in anyone elses head.
I am also thinking a lot about Monsanto since I watched a documentary on it. It kind of really scares me I feel like we are in a science fiction world, where people are just inventing all these new plants and then owning them and then taking over the world with them and just ugh owning things that shouldn't be owned. |
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