big trouble in little vagina
(I totally can't wait for the pedi hits I'll get off that post title, ugh)
How did I blog so much before? Seriously, it is a major effort. How did I find time to just BE a loser and never get laid when I was so busy talking about it? Mostly I do things now like drink or play civilization till five in the morning in case you are curious. Oh and I paint but it gets on my nerves and I have just been working on one never ending lame painting. Anyway, I had a mental breakdown last week about work where as soon as I went in there I just started crying because I am either alone or there and I hadn't been out to listen to music or do anything of my own in so long and hadn't had the company of a man or even just general company in forever. I live alone and I like it, but when you are walking past people drinking on their patios and you are on your way to work you get kind of depressed about living your life in a hole. (THAT'S A METAPHORICAL HOLE FOR ALL YOU AUTISTICS; LITERAL HOLES DON'T HAVE INTERNET ACCESS) Anyway, a couple days after that I went out and sang jazz with a real live band and it was the funnest thing ever. In addition to this I've concocted a life changing plan that is totally life changing. Phase one of the the plan is that once a week I pick up a "nice guy" and take him to my house to watch Big Trouble in Little China. Phase two of the plan is that he is making me orgasm by the time Gracie Law gets pulled into the nook by the monster. Phase three of the plan is that he is totally cool with me being too tired to return the favour and would like to spend the night cuddling me and/or making me feel pretty and cool. Phase four of the plan is that he is gone by 9 o'clock in the morning leaving me with a few kind words and zero phone numbers. I am pretty sure it is the supreme plan that will lead to total happiness, even if it means I am the ultimate creepazoid.
FYI
The night that I sang jazz was different night than the night one pictured when I went out with Amanda.
Also I am only PRETENDING to play pinball in that picture. Surprised?
It looks so realistic because I am an awesome actress.
In case you were wondering....YES, I dance like a faggy lunatic mom.
EXTRA SPECIAL FYI
Here are some important facts I just learnt about Kim Cattrall when I was looking at the big trouble in little china imdb.
1.She was in crossroads.
I guess she was Britneys mom that was all sorry dude, I don't love you now and I never want to; go sing some karaoke. Seriously, that was her only line in the movie, look.
2. She is 51 years old.
That makes me respect her more because I am pretty sure by the time I am fifty I will look like a pair of pantyhose stuffed full o' skid marked underwear compared to her.
3.THIS picture of her exists.
Eurotrash vacation wha? |
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